| Silent Soul |
| 26 years ago, A small miracle came to alive in this lonely planet, and they named her Savanna. She Loves Poetry,cravin for good Foods and Books, mad about her Mum, and solemnly looking for her soulmate. |
| She Loves |
| Her Mum and Dad, Her only brother, Her true-blood-friends, and The lovely crafted blue Minaret of her Palace, green green grass of The Park, The Towers, Her comfy room, Her workplace, The Thrilling Black Gold Hunting Project, and Heavenly Kisses from HiM. |
| She Does |
| Fall in love and get amused so easily ,run under the rain , laugh till it hurts, sing so beautifuly, appreciate beauty even if it's not pretty, feel romantic all over for nothing at all ,wear lace and skirts, listen to oldies goodies, believe in emancipation but not feminism, go ballistic over good friends,craving for coffee and chocolates, stay at home during weekend and feel good about it. |
| She Does Not |
| Go for Look, Talk behind, stand being alone, like veggies too much, eat sushi,sleep with lights on, play any instruments, believe in pagan and atheist, worship worldy affairs. |
| She Would |
| Be a writter, singer, poet, anything but silent stalker. |
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| Thursday, March 30, 2006 |
| Forgive me? |
He said he will be there whenever I need him.
I'm so sorry my dear, I had to lie again.
I hate my self. So much. I feel disgusted.
Oh God please forgive me |
posted by Nayma @ 12:04 PM  |
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| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 |
| Turning Point |
In every kind of life, there will always be A Turning point for everyone where we have to make choices and deal with losses and gains for somehow. Right now, I'm standing on the edge of the turning point of my life. I'm trying my best to understand where each possible point leads to....
I am caught in the act of falling for someone...
Today I made a clear n simple announcement pertaining to my marriage's future..Let it be..I'm so tired of it...Tired of making up stories and so on.
I am a free woman for God sake and I demand my right to be treated and loved as a free hassle woman..no strings attached.
I have not yet fallen for My Hodza but ..the feeling is so overwhelming...
In short, I wake up 9 am in the morning singing...Have you ever been in love..went to the rest room, came back to the room, continued singing and what the....Ah...See what love can do even for an old heartbroken lady like me. Love has it magic spells on me as usual and till the day I die, I hope it will still shines on my heart...
I love to love someone but the chances to have the very famous unrequitted love seems not so promising...
I asked silly question to Mr. dawny....
Let me put it in the sentence...Ahhhh..
How would you know if the guy likes the woman....I mean...how stupid I was..it was like talking to my 16 years old me in the past.
My Hodza, I won't ask the world from you, just a glimpse of your affection and That's it. I'm out of the business. But at least please spare my joyful thought of getting your subtle and simple attention.
I do like you....
I hope it won't injure my heart once again...
but if it does, well what can I do...
This is stupid thing called LOVE... |
| posted by Nayma @ 12:05 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 |
| The Short Message |
I try to recover my memory in flashback mode
There were you, soft and subtle yet firm against the crowd
You smiled back at me...at minimun supervision I could notice,
You hummed about my white dress..it sounded as if you were singing
" You're Dress!". It was short and crisp sentence
I prefered to hear it as " Put on this wedding dress"
Oh MY...
And our short messages, for you to know
You were so calm, mysterious, quite yet daring and challenging
I want to know more about you
what do you like
what do you think
what do you wish
what do you like from a woman
You're not that special someone
but you fill my heart with such a warm feeling
I feel so secure..
knowing that your eyes were locked to mine
as we have now the same green eyes ever
Still your subtle smile
stay immensely in my drop dead heart
I like you Hodza, I really do.
ps. My hodza, I'm looking for a real hodza to spend my life with...Ah God knows |
| posted by Nayma @ 1:14 PM |
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| Friday, March 17, 2006 |
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Things could be so tough at times, but alhamdulillah I could managed them somehow.... Today one of my darlings is leaving this university. I cried. She's a nice and kindhearted girl from the land of mortar and violence, yet she managed herself to be softspoken and subtle. I like her, as my betfriend comes from the same land and we used to go to the same all-girl's party. I'm gonna miss her. There is a similarity between me and her. She was sad because her parents died in the car crash few years back and eventhough she's holding a good degree in her hands, she wouldn't be able to share the joy with them..after all those years.... And what about me? Alhamdulillah I still have my parents , but thing becomes cranky when it comes to my ex ... Ah, I wish....2 years back, we were waiting drop dead for this moment, where we would be able to stay under one roof and share the life's ups and downs. But now, things are different...graduating is becoming so scarry and horrible fo me. I'm leaving all the good old days behind..my bestfriends, my life..my freedom, my sanctuary. Without we realized, this place has become our scantuary for the past 4 years. we grow to be an individu here..right here..with some many obstacles, and sublime intimate problems, I managed to go on and now here I am..on the edge of my graduation..I should be so happy and relieved..if the situation still be the same as 2 years ago, I would have jumped up and down to celebrate my graduation. My heart is thumping and I'm so scared of loosing all the privileges I had here. Now, I can bluntly say that I dont want to graduate....but what a selfish asshole am I? My mom is sick and I need to come home soon. Please God, save me from this overwhelming pain.. I'm loosing my self... I need someone to stay beside me and tells me that everything will just fine.. Just fine like one sunday afternoon... How I wish |
| posted by Nayma @ 7:32 PM |
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| Monday, March 13, 2006 |
| I call my self a Bitch |
The last three days were such a hectic and loonatic days for me in my study history in this university. I sat almost 24 hours in front of the pc doing some revamps on my assignments( our assignment for most unlikely)...and here I am..feeling drown and exhausted...and I'm about to cry in a minute. I don't know why in the first place I should over-do my works..I mean..again..our works..( doh!!). I had some sweet calls from the land of Bijan and I got so excited to the extent I decided not to sheed tears..at least till now..
Mom called me, and I was about to loosing my grip when I heard her trembling voice over the phone. I pretended to be strong or was it because I did care less about her? what a savage repercussion.
I hardly think...my head is overwhelmed with all bits of pregraduation syndrom which has been haunting me for almost two months. Indeed the overjoy feeling I got from believing that I will get that title at the back of my name soon, thrilled me . Still, I'm hangin on here...scared of loosing my sanity to understand how could a girl like me turn out to be a bitch and real jerk..I call my self a bitch for God sake and I have no shame for that.
I've humiliated the race of women on earth and I do disgraced my Mom's existence as the saviour of my soul ( again...movie tittle mind?)
I want to admit this...I'm such a bitch..a real fine bitch unless I don't do prostitution in legal manner. Whereas I sublime to achieve what life offers, I dare not to recall what I have done for my 25 years of living.
I'm a genuine flirt and I won't beg to differ to those whose heart have been offended by me.
Critize me, condemn me, burn me in hell...do whatever you feel like doing it..but please...spare your time to give my heart a peace of mind. I'm such a controversy for my family, my people, my surroundings and I give a damn for that. I care less, so talk. Bitch about me as you like..coz I will stand on the edge of nowhere....wait for someone to capture my heart once again..mend the broken pieces and sail the love life together ..
For once in my life..let me taste the sincereity of opposite sex love....
For God sake..... |
| posted by Nayma @ 4:53 PM |
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| Friday, March 10, 2006 |
| Green |
I have this feeling...
I'm gonna miss this beloved uni where I grew up as a woman.
So many things have happened here...
I've fallen in love for a couple of times, had flings and steal me heaven cases for a life time memory...
And I got a few best friends...a real one...a good one whom I can share the darkest secret of my life.
I've stumblin down and was able to survive all through the year, Thank to the blessing of the Al Mighty Allah.
yes, I have this feeling...
I'm gonna miss everything
every single thing...
And before I leave , the unfinished business must be settled
I promise my self not to leave any dirty stain on any surface of somebody's heart
What should be done, must be done before it's too late.
I'm gonna leave him a note for most probably and hopefully he would understand
That life could be so much simple and beautiful....green everywhere for having him besides me..
and I pray he wouldn't turn out to be another Mr. Lovasick whose eyes were contagiously contaminated by some radical elements and...last but not least..
I hope he has the same feeling as mine....
I like him..a bit...it's a crush...
I would have gotten him a green pair of eyes ...
So we can see the world from the same perception.
isnt't it lovely? |
| posted by Nayma @ 4:42 PM |
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| Thursday, March 9, 2006 |
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Alhamdulillah, I'm 25 years old now and what a way to go....
Hmm..can't believe that I'm that much old :P.
Anyway, my Bday was a fine day since Ms. M and Mrs. T were the manager of my surprise Party , or what should I call it....expected surprise party . I got some nice presents and Ms. M gave me the cosmetics box which I choosed last Saturday on behalf of her friend. I was a bit jealous knowing that the tosca box of make up will go to another girl's hands...uhh....but I got the feeling she would give me as a present.
Mrs. T gave me a skirt and diary....lovely! and I'm wearing it today. For the first time ( if I don't mistaken....) I'm wearing a bit tight blouse along with my new skirt and scarf. I guess it's fine with me. I got a flat tummy nowadays due to lack of nutritious food...hahhaha...I'm bancrupt..yeah hear that my lady..I spent so much on clothes and bag this month and I'm flat...ohhhhhhh.... |
| posted by Nayma @ 9:58 AM |
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| Savanna Who |
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![]()
Name: Nayma
Home: Hilarious 'n Buzzin City, J.a.k.a.r.t.a
About Me: Witty, Jolly, anxious, loves poetry and fine books, chocolate, NO Milk for now, weight gain syndrom, yellow-whitish, chubby, married to on heavenly man, dedicated to be a Mother, NO workaholic :D, you read it right...sleazy munching over deadlines and flowerful days of becoming a Mother.
Can't get Enough...
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