Escapade of Silent Soul

My Love,I haven’t hear any news from you lately and I’m just wondering if everything is fine with you (Most probably is :). I hope you won’t mind reading my usually-lengthy form of writing. It’s 2 am in the morning and as you might experience, I got infected with the infamous insomnia syndrome of ***.

Anyway, how’s life with you? I’ve been thinking about you constantly and I must have to tell you this. I mean, my feeling is no joke even though I am fully aware that it leads nowhere. I’m so capable of loving you more than I love my self and it’s surprised me. There are some options I must consider pertaining to our platonic relationship. First scenario is I am too obsessed with having someone to be called as significant other, a real lover and opposite sex best friend whom I can share lives ups and down without fear of being abandoned. Neither you nor I have the right word to express our innermost feeling. As for you it may be as simple as “friend”, but it’s not happening to me. Second scenario is I am in dire need of the object of my affection regardless reason of loving someone, I am determined to love someone and giving my heart either consciously or unconsciously to that particular person , and it happens to be you. I am sorry for all the extra miles I have added all this time to your confusion how bluntly a girl like me may end up telling a quiet boy whom strangely attached to my daily life for the past one month such a frantic truth of how she loves your companion and wishes she had more times to spend with you.The third scenario is I am so desperately seeking for a life companion which is not true.

Well MY Love you may end up telling me to just let go and forget everything ( like something special ever happened anyway?), it was in fact a once in life moment of 6 hours amazing moment in French Village. Maybe it was simply the cold temperature, the height, the obscure moon, the silence, and the right timing. Maybe there wasn’t something special besides having your arms around me. The tea was worse, and the chocolate I won’t even bother to ask for more. I was a bit hungry yes, but considering our pocket money as student, I must had been thankful for having you agreed on my long-way to go plan to spend one quiet night together. You were perfectly blend into the quietness and darkness of that place, as if you were destined to spend the rest of your life there while I was grasping for some one-night stand intimacy. I could not believe how we ended up holding each other arms.

Okay, it was started when I asked you politely “ may I hold your hands?”. It’s funny how a girl could ask such thing while you as the boy had a big fat opportunity to ask me such question with a definitely Yes or Nod answer. Well, shall we proceed with the details? Then we walked to the cafe for some drinks. It was cold indeed. We sat quietly and ordered a cup of hot tea and a mug of hot chocolate. I wanted to have a bite but I didn’t want to belittle you by paying the bills myself. Anyway, going Dutch was not such a good idea. I relentlessly talked about goofy unimportant things that I could barely remember, and you replied with short crisp sentence as you always did. I started to ask you questions while I was playing with your fingers. They were well groomed and clean. I love the way you took care of your self. Your favorite T shirts are plain Esprit in black, silver, gray, and green color. You loved Esprit so much.

Oh, Last Saturday I visited The Plaza only to find that Esprit Tshirt was less expensive I wanted to buy one for you as your early Bday gift or graduation gift. But few days before you’re leaving, you were so busy that I had to beg for a little time to see you. How amazingly I put the sentence of seeing you...in short, I changed my itinerary and paid 100 $ for that. I don’t mind.

I wonder why you were avoiding me in the last few days before you were leaving. Did you scared of your feeling toward me because you had told me once that we could not control feeling, and the last night before I left, you said that you wanted to be with me everyday. I buy your words but I have infamous experience of cooing with feeling that I simply put that aside and replied it dimly as if I was so cool. Dammit. Ok, where we were, Hmm..we sat for about one hour or less, then decided to take another walk , and this time magical things happened.